Tuesday, January 10, 2006

 

The Case For Hemming #1: Intelligence

Despite John Hemming being the obvious choice to lead the Liberal Democrats, it seems many of his parliamentary colleagues are reluctant to jump on the bandwagon - but you can climb aboard by simply emailing hemmingforleader@yahoo.co.uk and declaring your support today!

In order to remind them why this formidable political operator of towering stature is the ideal candidate for the Liberal Democrat leadership, we'll be presenting a breakdown of John's qualifications for the job over the days ahead - first up, his supreme intellect...

John was educated at the prestigious King Edward's School, Edgbaston, Birmingham and his glittering academic career commenced right there, when his hard-fought victory against all-comers in the Rickard Prize for Arithmetic provided the catalyst for what was to follow.

John left King Edward's after gaining ten O Levels and three A Levels (all at grade A!), which helped to earn him a National Sciences scholarship (worth £60 and which afforded him a longer gown than his contemporaries) to study Atomic, Nuclear and Theoretical Physics at Magdalen College, Oxford.

It is a little-known fact that John's record of academic excellence in the field of physics saw him become a candidate to be Britain's first astronaut, but despite John's obvious qualifications for being a space cadet, he was, unfortunately, not sent into space, and the role was taken by Michael Foale instead.

The Yardley Liberal Democrats' website tells us that:

"His technical skills lie particularly in the areas of mathematics and programming.

He is an accomplished cryptographer having devised a number of security and payment protocols.

He was the first person outside the USA to implement the main SSL World Wide Web security protocol.

He is one of the world's leading internet technical experts.

He programs in eight different programming languages as well as speaking six human languages."

As well as being a cunning linguist, John is also a highly-accomplished musician; having formerly been a drummer in a heavy metal rock group, he is currently a jazz pianist, and has performed with such luminaries as Andy Hamilton and the Blue Notes and the John Patrick Quartet.

Surveying the above, it should be clear to anybody that John Hemming is a man of unsurpassable intellect and many talents, who could not fail to lead the Liberal Democrats to unprecedented and unimagined performance levels in future elections.

John Hemming for Liberal Democrat leader - you know it makes sense!

Comments:
Ha ha. Now Mark Oaten's campaign is in trouble and cannot get the nominations the Sex God of Yardley should be cruising. Who else is Lembit gonna back after all?
 
I've often wondered about that arithmatic prize of John's. I believe he correctly calculated that he always had a lot more money than his school mates, though possibly less friends.
 
Wouldn't 'Hemmed In' be a better name for this platform?

Anyhow, best of luck. He can always declare the result nul and void later, it is a postal ballot after all (why spoil the habit of the past few years?).
 
'Hemmed In'?.This platform is clearly bursting with hemmoglobin!
 
logician is often considered to be the father of modern computer science. - - With the Turing test, Turing made a significant and characteristically provocative contribution to the debate regarding artificial intelligence: whether it will ever be possible to say that a machine is conscious and can think. He provided an influential formalisation of the concept of the algorithm and computation with the Turing machine, Find Out More at http://heros4u.com/alan_turing.htm
 
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